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The Curse of Kelly Bundy

        This was during our one and only venture into playing Vampire: The Masquerade, which was was being GM`ed by a long term member of our group who has now left (we played on sundays for a long time, and he became religious so couldn`t make it to the game, and this was during his transition period). We took the games dark gothic atmosphere seriously from the beginning (as our character names demonstrates), R was playing Kelly Bundy (a teenager), I was playing Dan Quayle (senator for Denver where the adventure was set, and later a Tremere Vampire), K was playing Jack (originally a cowboy but when we were all told to make our characters modern day living people, he became an actor who played cowboys), C played two seperate Vampires during the adventure neither of which I remember, and L played a private detective called James Brown.

        The adventure started with us all as humans being kidnapped and left as Vampires in a basement, when we tried to escape from the basement, we discovered that the house was burning. The rest of the adventure centered on us being unauthorised vampires, so the rest of the vampires in the city were going to destroy us, combined with the difficulty of changing our lives from those of the living to those of the undead.

        While all of us had strange and amusing encounters, the worst was R, so I`ll detail what happened to Kelly Bundy (based on the character from the series "Married with Children").

        Kelly started like the rest of us in the basement of a burning house, and managed to escape with the rest of the group (except C who`s character lasted about 5 minutes, somekind of record for rapid character death). We escaped through the sewers, and exited into an alley massacring a street gang for blood, as they were the first humans we encountered in our unlives.

        Shortly afterwards we all went our separate ways, and Kelly returned home and went to bed. The next morning her mother came to wake her up, it being daylight she was somewhat reluctant to get out of bed, so her mother wrenched the curtains open, turning Kelly into a raging inferno. So she escaped to the safety of the basement after nearly being killed by her mum.

        That night she went out seeking someone to feed on, since she was badly burnt and required blood to heal. Wandering through a park late at night she waited for someone to attack her, which did indeed happen. Unfortunately she was attacked by a gang, rather bizarrely, she was attacked by a gang of Rasta`s, not the usual type of gang doing muggings in the park. They beat her, nearly killing her, when she was rescued by her werewolf ally.

        The police found her lay in the park, apparently dead, so she allowed herself to be taken to the mortuary. At the mortuary she got the bright idea of feeding off a corpse, the blood wouldn`t be as good, but she now was in pretty desperate need.

        However even this task was beyond the abilities of luckless Kelly, as she started to feed a policeman entered the mortuary and saw the body he`d just brought in biting the neck of another dead body, so he shot her.

        Kelly fled, leaping through the window to freedom, however she was now in a very bad state. Burnt, beaten, shot and shredded by glass there was no way that Kelly could fight a human to feed on them, or attract a guy so she could bite him mid-passion. So she was reduced to feeding on animals, Colorado being a big cattle state (as we now know from watching South Park), she left Denver and found a field of cows to feed on. This was pretty low, but she was in real need, so Kelly waited until the very early hours of the morning, and entered the field to feed.

        Again Kellys luck proved to be all bad, and the farmer (standing in his field in the middle of the night (with a shotgun)), spotted her as she began to feed and opened fire. The second time in as many hours Kelly fled under fire.

        The rest of the party was doing very well, and took pity on poor Kelly, allowing her to feed off them and giving her shelter in Dan`s mansion.

        However, Kellys luck held true, and while she was resting (and the rest of the players were out) a Vampire Hunter snuck into the mansion surprising her. The first she knew of his attack was when his stake pierced her chest.

        Fortunately here was a nemesis worthy of Kelly, he missed her heart, so he wrenched his stake free, and plunged it down once again, missing her heart once more.

        This cycle was repeated about a dozen times as Kelly futilely struggled beneath him, until he eventually managed to locate her heart (we can only imagine that she was a bizzare mutant, and her heart was located somewhere other than her chest.

        Leaving her staked (and therefore paralysed) body, the Vampire Hunter started to pour petrol aroudn the mansion, and proceeded to set fire to the place. It looked as if it was all over for poor Kelly as she couldn`t move.

        This was when the rest of the party arrived, charging in, we located her, and removed the stake, and then we all had to make our escape from the raging inferno that had been my home (Kellys luck was contagious apparently).

        We all escaped from the house undamaged, except of course poor Kelly who got burnt some more. The rest of adventure passed uneventfully for Kelly, she had learnt to stick with the rest of the group, and feed from their left overs.

        This was our one and only Vampire adventure, so no-one ever got to discover what else the Curse of Kelly Bundy would have thrown at her.

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Page designed in Notepad, logo`s done on Personal Paint on the Amiga.
Text completely by FreddyB, extended from some notes by R.
Images stolen from various web pages I`ve now forgotten where (Copyright resides with the artist).
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